Friday, and a little about me
Time for some insights into your buddy Maurice.
So what the hell is a Cataphract, anyway?
Well...
And, you might ask, what is this sword that maurice is always talking about.
The sword is a Dragon Well blade, or so they tell me. It is made with snowflake steel, what ever the hell that is. What is true, is that it is balanced perfectly and comes alive in your hand, like no other one I own. It sings when you draw it from the scabbard. I own six blades, with another one winging its way from Shanghai. I have my eyes on one more, a schivona, 17th century weapon of the Slavic mercenaries of the Doge of Venice. I think that this should complete the arsenal for a while, Wife has given me one corner of the bedroom and I am trying to respect her wishes that the blades all stay there.
So the Wife has put me on notice, that while she will remain faithful and true to me for the rest of our lives, that she reserves the right to three "freebees". The freebees are apparently one night stands with particular specific individuals that do not count against the marriage vows.
The three (well four) people are, in order:
Matt Damon
Jessica Simpson
Katie Holmes (or Tom Cruise,but only one of them)
The freebee is a new concept for me, the most interesting part is that I was introduced to it by one of her female friends. I must also say, all her girlfriends are behind the idea as well.
Now I have to say, much of this is tongue and cheek and meant in fun. But I can also tell you, knowing people as well as I know them, that if any of these three ever DID show up and offer my wife a night of passion that the Freebee Factor would take affect.
Of course, you say, fair is fair, and her girlfriends did ask me who MY freebee people were. Problem is, I can't think of any.
So to all you readers, I am taking suggestions. Oh, and while I am totally fine with gay men, I have zero interest in making the two backed or four legged beast with any of them.
Ideas?
So what the hell is a Cataphract, anyway?
Well...
And, you might ask, what is this sword that maurice is always talking about.
The sword is a Dragon Well blade, or so they tell me. It is made with snowflake steel, what ever the hell that is. What is true, is that it is balanced perfectly and comes alive in your hand, like no other one I own. It sings when you draw it from the scabbard. I own six blades, with another one winging its way from Shanghai. I have my eyes on one more, a schivona, 17th century weapon of the Slavic mercenaries of the Doge of Venice. I think that this should complete the arsenal for a while, Wife has given me one corner of the bedroom and I am trying to respect her wishes that the blades all stay there.
So the Wife has put me on notice, that while she will remain faithful and true to me for the rest of our lives, that she reserves the right to three "freebees". The freebees are apparently one night stands with particular specific individuals that do not count against the marriage vows.
The three (well four) people are, in order:
Matt Damon
Jessica Simpson
Katie Holmes (or Tom Cruise,but only one of them)
The freebee is a new concept for me, the most interesting part is that I was introduced to it by one of her female friends. I must also say, all her girlfriends are behind the idea as well.
Now I have to say, much of this is tongue and cheek and meant in fun. But I can also tell you, knowing people as well as I know them, that if any of these three ever DID show up and offer my wife a night of passion that the Freebee Factor would take affect.
Of course, you say, fair is fair, and her girlfriends did ask me who MY freebee people were. Problem is, I can't think of any.
So to all you readers, I am taking suggestions. Oh, and while I am totally fine with gay men, I have zero interest in making the two backed or four legged beast with any of them.
Ideas?
posted by Maurice_Basilius at 6:10 PM
4 Comments:
Hm. Now I know why you were complaining about me not updating. SOMEONE posted twice.
Overachiever.
that would be me..
So, I'm feeling particularly lazy... is a cataphract the weapon? The man? The horse? The shield?
I don't want to look it up.
Sorry, finally got here to weigh in on this freebies thing. This reminds me of the Friends episode where Ross and Rachel agree on the "list of five" - Ross finally drops Isabella Rosselini from his list for #5, then actually meets her and in his amazement, mentions the list but that he couldn't include her. She says something to the effect of oh well, then she guessed he lost his chance.
Someone's gotta do it for you! My list of five only has ever included men - most usually Dean Cain, Christian Slater, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, and the ever-changing #5, sometimes Howie Long and sometimes Josh Hartnett, and sometimes someone else entirely. If I had to muddle it up with women, it would be hard. Angelina Jolie would be at the top of the list. I'll have to give some thought to the others.
Guess this doesn't help you, though!
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