The Walk of Shame
Well, once again Friday is upon us, in this case Good Friday. We are a bit light on holidays here at the Salt Mine, so I am here at the office, even though my customers are pretty quiet. In some ways I like working on the optional holidays..It makes for a quiet day in the office to catch up.
Today the Fiance picked up the rings, we are now on a 43 day countdown to the Aisle Walk, as opposed to the Walk of Shame, or the Perp Walk.
"Walk of Shame", now that is a fascinating concept. I have heard several bloggers refer to it, and the Fiance' filled me in one day, in her set it is the "walk" that a gal makes back to her apartment the next day, hair disheveled, last night's party outfit and "come fuck me" shoes on at 10:00 am, all the outward signs of a gal who got lucky. (or maybe not, depending on how drunk she was and how mortified she was when she sobered up).
Now I know that there is an aspect humor to the concept, but I also think it speaks to deeply held attitudes, feelings that compose some of the starkest differences between men and women. We live in a liberated age, regardless how hard the Jesus Rapture Cult (thanks for that from the blog "Running With Lawyers")tries to turn the clock back, and women are very free and empowered to express their sexuality. I find this especially to be true for women in their 30's and younger. There is a stark difference in how younger women approach sex vis a vis their older (40 and up) counterparts. They are open, up front and genuinely much less inhibited than my generation, they feel empowered to enjoy, to experience and to not feel guilt. Conversely, try as they may, women of my generation cannot shake the sense, deep in their psyche, that only "bad" girls like sex, that somehow it is "wrong".
I know I am generalizing, and there are I am sure plenty of exceptions, but I think I am on safe ground in saying that on average, these younger women have been spared much of what we called the "catholic sex guilt."
So why, then, would a generation of educated, empowered, urban women refer to the logical aftermath of a well deserved night of fun as the "walk of shame."?
Curious.
My sexual life has been one of great variety, some by choice and some not by choice. Before I was married, and in the first "between" period I was a major poon hound. My first wife put me on the once a quarter program, so I was a bit of a hound then too. Nothing was better than waking up after a night out in some gals bed, smelling of her. I have done that walk so many times, and the only feelings I ever had could be best expressed by Howard Dean.
Yes, yes, I know, I am a guy... that is what we guys do. But I though that women's attitudes about sex were cultural, they felt that way because the culture trained them to feel that way. So, in my simple world, women today, freed from the cultural bullshit, should also be doing mental high fives on the ten am walk.
The answer is, I think that things are not that simple. We are complex creatures, driven by nature informed by nurture. Boys denied toy guns by well meaning liberal parents will find a way to play army, much to their parents horror. I lived in the East Bay for a while, I can assure you it happens.
This matters to me because I have daughters, and it is pretty clear to me now that no matter what the cultural norms, at the genetic core there is something that tells women that sometimes sex, no matter how appropriate the context, can be bad, that the act in of itself is somehow, shamefull. Just the same, there is something genetic that informs men that making a score is always good (just don't get caught).
I think as my girls get older and become young adults, this is key to keep in mind.
Well, well, back on sex again. Hmm, me thinks the next several posts will deal with this hot button topic.
Maurice is Back !!!!!!!
Today the Fiance picked up the rings, we are now on a 43 day countdown to the Aisle Walk, as opposed to the Walk of Shame, or the Perp Walk.
"Walk of Shame", now that is a fascinating concept. I have heard several bloggers refer to it, and the Fiance' filled me in one day, in her set it is the "walk" that a gal makes back to her apartment the next day, hair disheveled, last night's party outfit and "come fuck me" shoes on at 10:00 am, all the outward signs of a gal who got lucky. (or maybe not, depending on how drunk she was and how mortified she was when she sobered up).
Now I know that there is an aspect humor to the concept, but I also think it speaks to deeply held attitudes, feelings that compose some of the starkest differences between men and women. We live in a liberated age, regardless how hard the Jesus Rapture Cult (thanks for that from the blog "Running With Lawyers")tries to turn the clock back, and women are very free and empowered to express their sexuality. I find this especially to be true for women in their 30's and younger. There is a stark difference in how younger women approach sex vis a vis their older (40 and up) counterparts. They are open, up front and genuinely much less inhibited than my generation, they feel empowered to enjoy, to experience and to not feel guilt. Conversely, try as they may, women of my generation cannot shake the sense, deep in their psyche, that only "bad" girls like sex, that somehow it is "wrong".
I know I am generalizing, and there are I am sure plenty of exceptions, but I think I am on safe ground in saying that on average, these younger women have been spared much of what we called the "catholic sex guilt."
So why, then, would a generation of educated, empowered, urban women refer to the logical aftermath of a well deserved night of fun as the "walk of shame."?
Curious.
My sexual life has been one of great variety, some by choice and some not by choice. Before I was married, and in the first "between" period I was a major poon hound. My first wife put me on the once a quarter program, so I was a bit of a hound then too. Nothing was better than waking up after a night out in some gals bed, smelling of her. I have done that walk so many times, and the only feelings I ever had could be best expressed by Howard Dean.
Yes, yes, I know, I am a guy... that is what we guys do. But I though that women's attitudes about sex were cultural, they felt that way because the culture trained them to feel that way. So, in my simple world, women today, freed from the cultural bullshit, should also be doing mental high fives on the ten am walk.
The answer is, I think that things are not that simple. We are complex creatures, driven by nature informed by nurture. Boys denied toy guns by well meaning liberal parents will find a way to play army, much to their parents horror. I lived in the East Bay for a while, I can assure you it happens.
This matters to me because I have daughters, and it is pretty clear to me now that no matter what the cultural norms, at the genetic core there is something that tells women that sometimes sex, no matter how appropriate the context, can be bad, that the act in of itself is somehow, shamefull. Just the same, there is something genetic that informs men that making a score is always good (just don't get caught).
I think as my girls get older and become young adults, this is key to keep in mind.
Well, well, back on sex again. Hmm, me thinks the next several posts will deal with this hot button topic.
Maurice is Back !!!!!!!
posted by Maurice_Basilius at 3:03 PM
2 Comments:
He's back??
How lovely!
I think Walk of Shame, for me, is categorized more by the person than the experience. If it's someone I would NEVER have hooked up with if I were sober, it is somewhat shameful. Its aftermath is that when you realize the person is someone you want nothing to do with ("coyote ugly" is a related term) then you are walking home alone because you don't want to have breakfast with him, you don't want him to drive you, you don't even want him to lend you sweats because you'd have to see him again to give them back. I'm too old to be screwing anyone I don't want to look at in the daylight. However, if I just happen to return home in last night's clothes after a great hookup with someone great and it might happen again given the chance, I would not consider that a Walk of Shame.
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