If I Hadn't Gotten Divorced
Sung to the tune of "If I only had a brain.."
Not really.
There is a theme in my posts these days. I get a brilliant idea for a post on my family, or on history, or politics or science tied to the realities of life and philosophy.
Then I fire up the old computer and visit my friends, and it all changes. Kayten is most to blame these days, she is in the middle of a life experience that I have just come through, so I suppose somewhere in my psyche is this resonant box that is still tuned perfectly to her life frequency, one post by her and HUMMMMMMMMMMMM. This is a gift from her, because partially, it is due to the Quadfecta that I have been jarred into looking at my divorce again, and processing it out prior to the wedding. Thanks people, there was a reason I found you.
Ok, so in response to Kayten's post, and with a nod to Average Joe and Bad Girl, I give you, the reading public, the following.
If I hadn't gotten divorced, I would have missed out on the following (not in any particular order, and just a sample):
1. Rebuilding my relationship with my brother and his family.
2. Taking a once in a lifetime backpacking trip with my brother and my son.
3. Meeting and joining my own urban tribe. The "Family Night Group" is a wonderfully alive pack of 30 somethings and one old bald guy. I lived the SF single life for a year, one of those "Summer in Paris" life experiences.
4. A year of "Family Nights", getting together every Monday with friends, food and reality TV.
5. Dating the Right Reverend ( or the Left Reverend). If you have never dated a minister, try it, very unique experience, sex and spirituality in big heady doses.
6. In reference to above: Attending TechnoCosmic Mass, Oakland's own Christian rave, attending The Earl Lectures, attending a whole host of events that are part of the east bay liberal religious environmentalists movement that I would never have even thought of attending.
7. Taking a good friend and traveling Malaysia and India. Hooking up with an old friend in Malaysia and dancing the night away with a pack of Chinese gals. Dancing the night away with a group of girls in Bali.
7A. Climbing to the ruins of the Rajmachi Forts, watching the sun go down over the Ghats from the topmost turret while being screened by a troop of monkeys.
8. Meeting Mark, the ex British paratrooper turned viagra runner.
9. My friend A's birthday weekends in the wine country.
10. Joining my church, becoming involved, running Christian outreach. Becoming the head of the church board. Giving time to others in a whole new way.
11. The Black and White Ball with Renee'.
12. Dancing the night away with my buddy Maurice ( he and I have the same name, just not Maurice) and two drop dead beautiful blondes, soused up on martinis served in pint glasses.
13. Having more time with my son, and him being happier now that the crazy ex is no longer in the picture.
14. Rapier Fencing.
15. A whole passel of new friends that never would have been in my life if I had stayed in my old situation.
16. A lot of really fun dates, and a bunch of really amazing nights of sex with a passel of new women.
17. Cigars
18. Lots of one on one time with Daughter, with our own routines and no one to nag at us.
19. And of course, meeting the woman of my dreams and desires, and planning a life together.
All of that, lost but for a bonehead move by my ex three years ago. Yes it sucked at the time, and yes it was hard and expensive.
But how do you put a price on those experiences?
One door closes, another opens. Did you really want to live in hell, when so much is out there for you?
Not really.
There is a theme in my posts these days. I get a brilliant idea for a post on my family, or on history, or politics or science tied to the realities of life and philosophy.
Then I fire up the old computer and visit my friends, and it all changes. Kayten is most to blame these days, she is in the middle of a life experience that I have just come through, so I suppose somewhere in my psyche is this resonant box that is still tuned perfectly to her life frequency, one post by her and HUMMMMMMMMMMMM. This is a gift from her, because partially, it is due to the Quadfecta that I have been jarred into looking at my divorce again, and processing it out prior to the wedding. Thanks people, there was a reason I found you.
Ok, so in response to Kayten's post, and with a nod to Average Joe and Bad Girl, I give you, the reading public, the following.
If I hadn't gotten divorced, I would have missed out on the following (not in any particular order, and just a sample):
1. Rebuilding my relationship with my brother and his family.
2. Taking a once in a lifetime backpacking trip with my brother and my son.
3. Meeting and joining my own urban tribe. The "Family Night Group" is a wonderfully alive pack of 30 somethings and one old bald guy. I lived the SF single life for a year, one of those "Summer in Paris" life experiences.
4. A year of "Family Nights", getting together every Monday with friends, food and reality TV.
5. Dating the Right Reverend ( or the Left Reverend). If you have never dated a minister, try it, very unique experience, sex and spirituality in big heady doses.
6. In reference to above: Attending TechnoCosmic Mass, Oakland's own Christian rave, attending The Earl Lectures, attending a whole host of events that are part of the east bay liberal religious environmentalists movement that I would never have even thought of attending.
7. Taking a good friend and traveling Malaysia and India. Hooking up with an old friend in Malaysia and dancing the night away with a pack of Chinese gals. Dancing the night away with a group of girls in Bali.
7A. Climbing to the ruins of the Rajmachi Forts, watching the sun go down over the Ghats from the topmost turret while being screened by a troop of monkeys.
8. Meeting Mark, the ex British paratrooper turned viagra runner.
9. My friend A's birthday weekends in the wine country.
10. Joining my church, becoming involved, running Christian outreach. Becoming the head of the church board. Giving time to others in a whole new way.
11. The Black and White Ball with Renee'.
12. Dancing the night away with my buddy Maurice ( he and I have the same name, just not Maurice) and two drop dead beautiful blondes, soused up on martinis served in pint glasses.
13. Having more time with my son, and him being happier now that the crazy ex is no longer in the picture.
14. Rapier Fencing.
15. A whole passel of new friends that never would have been in my life if I had stayed in my old situation.
16. A lot of really fun dates, and a bunch of really amazing nights of sex with a passel of new women.
17. Cigars
18. Lots of one on one time with Daughter, with our own routines and no one to nag at us.
19. And of course, meeting the woman of my dreams and desires, and planning a life together.
All of that, lost but for a bonehead move by my ex three years ago. Yes it sucked at the time, and yes it was hard and expensive.
But how do you put a price on those experiences?
One door closes, another opens. Did you really want to live in hell, when so much is out there for you?
posted by Maurice_Basilius at 2:49 PM
2 Comments:
"Did you really want to live in hell, when so much is out there for you?"
I wonder that about unhappily married people everyday of my life. . .sometimes 5, 10, 20, 50 times a day. . .
I always say that I would never be that person, but unless you are in that situation-how can you know.
It's good to see there is life (and a great one!) after death.
Wow, excellent, excellent.
Divorce is such a life changing event for most people - it's awesome that you can look back on the bad and see all the great things that came out of it.
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