Hanging With the Munchkin
As long as I can remember, the littlest in the brood was known as "The Munchkin" or "Munchkin" or simply "Munch". This is spring break week, and as often happens, I have my youngest daughter, who will here to fore be referred to as Munch. Munch is ten years old, sometimes going on 20, other times going on 3. Just the nature of the beast. She is the daughter that I have with the crazy ex, has her families looks but most of my personality and so far none of her mom's pathologies. We have a lot of fun together, the munch and I. She is into horses, backpacking, fencing, Chinese swords, Go, Ploy, and Risk, both the "Lord of The Rings" and the "Risk 2210" variety. She also has expressed interest in my collection of more complicated strategy games, though right now they are a bit over her head. She also is generally pretty easy going and has a quick wit, all in all a fun companion.
Because of the structure of our lives, I spend a lot of time with her just the two of us. She and Wife get along great, and we do things together...but in the end the kid weekends wind up being a time for father daughter interaction while Wife gets to shop and hang with her girlfriends. This is an acceptable solution for all, and we make a pretty content little family.
As I write this, she is doing Kumon. Six assignments of repetitive math problems, one in the class and five homework to be done every day with out fail.
What is Kumon, you say?
Well, it is billed as a great way to help kids get good at school work, and god knows it helps her with her math. In reality, it also seems to be a somewhat Fu Manchuian method for Asian families to hyper accelerate their kids grades in the quest for straight A's..and of course completely crush their little souls with impossible expectations tied to gargantuan work loads.
You think I am kidding?
Ever spend much time with a second generation Asian American? Great people, love them, and I hate to sound like I am a closet racist (which I am not). But I am a culturalist, and one's culture, good or bad, crafts one's behavior to its norms. Back to Asian Americans. Over achievers, yes. Great workers, yes. Spending every waking minute as if mom is looking over their shoulder down a disapproving set of glasses perched on the end of her nose? You bet. Have a hard time being present, or authentic, or even show a real emotion? Oh ya. Bit humorless and somewhat controlling?
You should see the lady who is the Kumon director in our town.
Of course, I am sure that most Asian Americans don't really care about my opinion on this subject. So you may ask, what's my point?
My point is, that after the next two months I am done with Kumon. Munchkin has benefited, and it was worth the money. But it is getting a bit much, and dangerously nutty. I will be damned if I will let my daughter's life be informed by a process that sees learning as a grinding machine that chews you up and spits out good little test takers and deadline meeters.
I have lived long and well.. and people, that is no way to live.
Because of the structure of our lives, I spend a lot of time with her just the two of us. She and Wife get along great, and we do things together...but in the end the kid weekends wind up being a time for father daughter interaction while Wife gets to shop and hang with her girlfriends. This is an acceptable solution for all, and we make a pretty content little family.
As I write this, she is doing Kumon. Six assignments of repetitive math problems, one in the class and five homework to be done every day with out fail.
What is Kumon, you say?
Well, it is billed as a great way to help kids get good at school work, and god knows it helps her with her math. In reality, it also seems to be a somewhat Fu Manchuian method for Asian families to hyper accelerate their kids grades in the quest for straight A's..and of course completely crush their little souls with impossible expectations tied to gargantuan work loads.
You think I am kidding?
Ever spend much time with a second generation Asian American? Great people, love them, and I hate to sound like I am a closet racist (which I am not). But I am a culturalist, and one's culture, good or bad, crafts one's behavior to its norms. Back to Asian Americans. Over achievers, yes. Great workers, yes. Spending every waking minute as if mom is looking over their shoulder down a disapproving set of glasses perched on the end of her nose? You bet. Have a hard time being present, or authentic, or even show a real emotion? Oh ya. Bit humorless and somewhat controlling?
You should see the lady who is the Kumon director in our town.
Of course, I am sure that most Asian Americans don't really care about my opinion on this subject. So you may ask, what's my point?
My point is, that after the next two months I am done with Kumon. Munchkin has benefited, and it was worth the money. But it is getting a bit much, and dangerously nutty. I will be damned if I will let my daughter's life be informed by a process that sees learning as a grinding machine that chews you up and spits out good little test takers and deadline meeters.
I have lived long and well.. and people, that is no way to live.
posted by Maurice_Basilius at 4:35 PM
2 Comments:
hi,
i'm asian. i agree with you. how much the asian families are pressuring their children with work. they believe it's to equip them for their future. As for myself, i don't have children. i don't know how i'd be if i have one.
It is very very smart of you to avoid that over-achieving-rut train. I believe that moderation is the key, unless the kid's a brat...then it's off to the grinder they go.
I have five kids myself, and it's a fine line to walk to make sure they do well in school and at the same time, not kill all the fun out of learning.
I am Asian myself...and there is this inner demon that chants me to push my kids so they graduate with honors too, like their parents.
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